My mum has recently been diagnosed with a life threatening illness and yet she remains the strongest and bravest member of our family.
My mum and my dad have been together for 57 years and their love is as strong today is it ever was.
My older brother shows strength, patience and caring like I’ve never experienced before and all of this is teaching me so much (he’s always all of these things, but I’m witnessing it for myself at an important life moment).
We are not a Walton-esque family by any means. We all lead fairly independent lives and I live a distance away, but we are a family that cares for and about each other.
My parents can be trying (more so as they have aged) because I’ve not been as patient as I could or should be. This I have learnt in the last few days and I’m grateful for the lesson.
When horrible things happen, I firmly believe that there must be something positive to take from it and in this case I’m still learning to be a better person – with the help of my family and friends I’m a better man today than I was yesterday – or at least this is my hope.
I was watching the TV earlier in the week – Vera was the name of the programme in question and for those not acquainted, it’s a police detective drama.
There is the usual hierarchy on display with a hard working sergeant who is smart and growing in confidence in his role and adding enormous value to the case currently under investigation. What struck me about this particular episode was the fact that the Inspector, whilst valuing the sergeant’s inputs, was not particularly OPEN with him, and in fact the communication was pretty one-way traffic, apart from the issuing of instructions and orders – sound familiar?
At the end of this episode, there is a moment where the inspector and her sergeant are sitting in a car and the conversation takes a turn to matters of a more “personal” nature, and the sergeant speaks up to say that he learns a lot from her, and he needs her to share more with him to help him to develop……how true this must be for organisations around the World! The old paradigm of “knowledge is power” still rings through the corporate corridors and business “leaders” are jealously guarding their knowledge for fear that giving it away makes them somehow impotent. The reality is that this very act is holding back the success of the “group” and ultimately the business. This outdated thinking is also creating a positive reason why those very individuals being starved of help and support will most likely entertain the call from the “head-hunter” when he comes knocking.
Don’t let your fear and neurosis halt your progress, as it is through the success and development of the people you are responsible for, that you will deliver the result that you and your business are seeking.
I wonder when, during your busy schedule and heavy demands on your time, you last thought about an old (or current) friend or colleague for whom life has dealt a different set of cards!
We all know that we are enduring a tough downturn in the global economy, and the result for employment numbers is not great. However, pragmatically, times of change often present opportunities albeit that uncovering them is sometimes a little more challenging. Thinking about others is a great way of taking some of the personal stress away – especially when licking your wounds because you’ve not had your best day.
I decided recently, as I was thinking about what I could do to help, that I would use my online presence to assist my friends to raise awareness for them. I decided to dedicate a page of my blog to promoting their profiles and CVs as my part in helping them to secure a new role. Follow this Link to review them
I read an article recently that bemoaned larger “corporates” who were taking the lions share of the available “talent” and I felt compelled to comment that this was not the case. There is an fact a lot of talent available, it just doesn’t shout about it. Their CV might not be the best written in the pile, or they might not use sufficient wow words (my daughter in year 6 has used this descriptor recently) to showcase their capabilities, but it is there.
I would urge you to do a couple of things:
1. Think today (and every day) what little thing can I do to help – and do it
2. Doing what I have always done to recruit will get me the same results I have always got, so think about a small change and look beyond the CV and you might strike gold
I meant to post this a couple of weeks ago (Sun 6th Dec) when my wife and I took our two girls (4 years 357 days old and 3 and a half) ice-skating. I am a complete amateur, and hold onto whatever I can in order to stay vertical, whilst my wife whizzes around generally having a ball. This year we hired a “penguin” which children can hang onto as they get familiar with the whole slippery floor experience, and for fun my wife whizzed them around with it one at a time whilst I edged cautiously around the perimeter wall.
At one time, I was holding my eldest daughter’s hand as we crept gingerly around and I said to her that “daddy was useless at this skating lark”, her reply almost floored me there and then “imagine that you were good at it daddy” she said – how good was that? At least I didn’t fall over (SWMBO did though).
No children or adults were hurt during the telling of this short story.
This is a question that I have heard asked on many occasions in interviews for jobs, or of celebrities in TV interviews and many times I have listened to the answers without much reflection. There are always the perhaps more predictable responses – famous historic figures and others in the public eye, but the ones that carry most weight for me are the ones where people quote “real” people that they know – especially family members. Having said this, I rarely think much about this. Until now that is – I was just relaxing in my bath and my thoughts turned to recent conversations and the person in mind I started to remember interviewing him for a position in the company I worked for perhaps 10 years ago. I started to recall that I asked him this very question and his response needed no thought – it was his father who turned out to be a man of the church. So why am I blogging about this? The simple answer is that I have often reflected on people I admire and (sadly) for the first time I thought about my parents in this light….and I thought and thought, and you know what I AM absolutely proud and full of admiration for my parents. They brought my brother and I up incredibly successfully – we always had the essentials and were always loved and cared for. Both of my parents had to work to “make ends meet” and there were occasions when things were difficult, but they made sacrifices and made sure my brother and I always had what was needed. They are definitely my heroes, and you can be sure that I will tell them to their faces when I next see them 🙂
And does this change over time?
What I am driving at here is simply that I am sure we all perceive friendship slightly differently and based upon our personal expectations and experiences, may have cause at some time to reflect on this question.
Are those people that you thought were your friends STILL around when you most need them, or are they conspicuous by their absence in your life now you could do with some support and anchors?
I wonder what your experience has been :-)?